Many times a client will come to their planner or their closest friends feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, hurt, even sometimes lost when planning their wedding because many times not only is one family member trying to take over, their may be two or three. We have experienced a few of our brides whose family members are reliving their wedding or having their own wedding through my bride. My bride usually tries to listen and respects the matriarchs in their family or don’t want to disappoint them and give in to some many of their ideas, instead of following their own hearts.
The brides loses her sense of feeling of the type of ambiance she wanted portrayed at her wedding. She loses her touch in the linens she dreamed of having on the table; her smell to the flowers she felt were unique and different than the elegant roses her mom wanted to see on the table. Slowly as each week, then month that passes by, the bride loses sight of what she wanted. She loses all control in what she thought was her wedding!
As a event planner, it is our job to be support our bride, encourage her and be that buffer or interference when she definitely needs one. As you can see, she definitely needs one. We try to encourage our bride to always be true to herself because at the end of the day, she will look back and have regrets of what she should have done for her wedding. Be honest with your family and/or friends and share exactly how you feel. Ask them to respect your wishes. Try to incorporate their love and support in different ways while still getting what they want. The wedding day should be about the coupe and stress free as possible, even leading up to the wedding.
Now there are exceptions to the rule, every rule really. You also have to sometimes find a compromise or even let the other person have their way. We had a bride whose mom insisted she wear the family broach that had been passed down from many generations before. Now, the bride felt very strongly the broach did not go with her wedding dress. She didn’t want to hurt her mother nor not follow tradition. Do you just not give in? No, we compromised. The broach was pinned inside of her dressed, all feelings were spared and the family tradition was saved.
We have many, many stories to share, definitely not enough time to share them all in this blog. But whose wedding is it anyway, the family, the couple or just the bride? Definitely, not a easy answer because every family dynamics, customs, values are all different. Sometimes it also may boil down to whose covering the bill. You just never know whose wedding is it anyway.